OH YES, this exists.
I got nothing right now.
Another halloween is over without my having dressed up or gone anywhere or done anything. it's sad.
I want a bike.
I can't sleep, so I'm going to look for bikes I can buy on the internets.
Lately, I'm feeling very nervous. A sort of general anxiety. I don't think there's really anything to do about it.
school starts back on monday, and then I won't have a day off between classes and work for 10 weeks. It will either be a good distraction or the impetus of a nervous breakdown. I should have graduated college by now.
I think I'm beginning to (re)despise Los Angeles. It's sort of like what Zach Galifianakis said in his Comedy Central presents: (I'm paraphrasing) "I really want to leave New York City, but I just put 600 dollars on my metro card." Take that as you will.
Ever see people that simply epitomize everything you hate about humanity and the world? They all shop at Ralph's. I have to slice them roast beef and salami that smells like vomit. (paper thin, damn you!)
I see my boyfriend about two hours a day, the time between when I get off work and when he falls asleep. It is mainly spent watching television.
I think I'm growing less attractive every day (and I was never hot-to-trot to begin with).
That's all I've got. I really want to go to sleep but I'm not tired at all.
I want to die today and make love with you in the grave.
I think I forgot this exists.
I am sad. I don't entirely know why. I can't sleep or eat.
that's pretty much it. I just wanted to say that aloud (in some surreal abstract form of "aloud").
I forgot how much I love the song "Narcolepsy" by Ben Folds Five.
I think that's all.
here's a list:
-my car is dead. I have no intention to fix it. Anyone wanna buy an old ass non-functional car?
-Very shortly before my car died, I got a ticket for expired tags and "driving without a license" (which I had left at home). All I wanted was Taco Bell.
-I take the bus to school. I have to walk a lot.
-I lost my cell phone.
-I got a huge check from Antioch (financial aid refund, or something) and as soon as it clears most if it will already be gone.
-I think I really pulled something at Antioch. My leg still hurts.
-Lost is on tonight. That's good.
-I think I'm still behind on sleep from Antioch, too.
-I'm pretty sure something horrible is going to happen soon. I don't know what, though.
-I figured out a budget which allowed me to pay my bills, on time, and have $20 a week for food.
-I think I'm kinda depressed.
-I love old and possibly outdated pyschological testing material.
I joined a union today in efforts to keep the miserable job that I hate so much but can't afford to lose.
I got a discount card for Medieval Times. And the zoo.
Also I had to pay them $110.14. And money will come out of my check for "union dues". Something like 20 bucks a week. But apparently that won't happen until March. And just maybe I'll have a real job by then.
So now I've got about a hundred dollars until next friday. And my car insurance is going to be due on tuesday. And I have no groceries.
And apparently Antioch has started, and I miss it a lot.
Love to all my Antioch peeps, I'm off to get groceries.